


Scream your throat out (and rip your face off)

by LevenCTN



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Jon/martin sort of, M/M, MAG 160, Martin Blackwood (Mentioned) - Freeform, Not Beta Read, Self-Harm, Semigraphic depictions of violence, Stream of Consciousness, Whump, i uh... did my best, spoilers for up to mag 160
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-02-13 12:07:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21494035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LevenCTN/pseuds/LevenCTN
Summary: Once he started, it was hard to stop. Impossible even, but fuck if he didn't try.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Comments: 13
Kudos: 101





	Scream your throat out (and rip your face off)

**Author's Note:**

> All characters and quotes from MAG 160 belong to ye olde rusty quill.
> 
> Edit: i changed the title cause it was pissing me off but the fic is the same as the original

He tried to stop, he really tried.

_ …You who watch and know and understand none. You who listen and hear and will not comprehend. You who wait and wait and drink in all that is not yours by right.... _

He tried biting his tongue, holding his jaw shut, clawing at his mouth. Anything to get the words to stop flowing. But they didn't.

... _ Come to us in your wholeness.... _

He could feel his nails scratching into what little was left of his un-scared face. Tearing at his lips, his cheeks. Ripping through himself. 

Pain he thought, maybe pain would help.

It didn’t

_ …Come to us in your perfection.... _

He could feel his head splitting under the pressure, power was flowing through him and he hated it. It was not power he wanted, not power he asked for, but power nonetheless. A torrent of words erupting from his lips and he could do nothing. 

_ … Bring all that is fear and all that is terror and all that is the awful dread that crawls and chokes and blinds and falls and twists and leaves and hides and weaves and burns and hunts and rips and leads and dies!…. _

His sight went blurry, he didn’t know if it was the pain; pain from his pounding head, pain from his own hands as he still tried to claw at himself to stop, pain from whatever was happening to him, or if it was from fear. Fear for himself, fear for the world, fear for martin. 

Oh, gods… Martin...

He didn’t know if Martin was safe. He didn’t know where Martin was. Jon didn’t know if he would ever even see Martin again.

The last thing they spoke about was cows. Jon wishes they were still talking about cows. 

Maybe this would not be so terrible if Martin was there.

_ …...Come to us. _

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if he could stop. Stop digging his fingers into his own flesh. Stop the flood of stolen words, stop himself. 

But Jon could never stop anything, could he?

Couldn’t stop Sasha from dying, couldn’t stop Tim from dying.

Wait? That’s not right?

He stopped Daisy from being consumed by the buried, he stopped Martin from being lost to the lonely.

Why couldn’t he stop this?

_ ...I OPEN THE DOOR! _

Why couldn’t he stop this?

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic lmaoo i hope i did alright
> 
> If u have any thot's come hit me up @ levencamthenone.tumblr.com


End file.
